Me: Clicks on Account Management, Billing, Cancel Subscription.
Zoom: Are you sure? If you cancel you’ll miss out on This Feature, as well as This Feature and all the Features that come with your plan!
Me: Yes I’m sure, cancel it.
Zoom: HOLD ON! What if we offer you a discount for three months? Or six months?
Me: No, just cancel it.
Zoom: Look we know times are hard, maybe just pause it for a month? Or three? Or six? And then we’ll continue like nothing ever happened, right?
Me: Fucking. Cancel. The Fucking. Thing.
Zoom: Fine, fine yes we’ll cancel it. We’d appreciate it if you would take a moment to let us know why you’re cancelling? Is it because a) it was too difficult to set up, b) it was too expensive, c) I am no longer working remote, d) etc etc etc etc etc etc
Me: Fuck’s sake. F) Service no longer needed.
Zoom: Any additional comments?
Me: GO DIE A SLOW DEATH IN SATAN’S FIREY ROTTEN EXCREMENT WHILE YOU CHOKE ON THE NOXIOUS GASSES OF CORPORATE ARSE-FUCKERY YOU INSANELY RIDICULOUS STEAMING PILE OF DISRESPECT.
Zoom: Your subscription has been cancelled. You will receive a bloody email confirming the update.
Also Zoom: This bullshit:
