OK. So. Look. Here’s the thing. It’s all a bit fucked, right? We got thousands of cases a day – and that’s only what we know about. Because testing is over-capacity, so not everyone’s getting tested, and the test to positive ratio is at 30% or something crazy stoopid when it was always less than 1% during the Let’s Take This Seriously stage of the pandemic. That was a long sentence. Point is, it’s all a bit fucked.
So. What to make of this.
Well, it’s all a bit fucked.
But I just drank a quite nice bottle of 2017 Labor of Love Shiraz. Which was a charity purchase for Climate for Change because the climate is… well, it’s all a bit fucked.
So I’m fissed as a part and just had a really nice catch-up Zoom chat with some good friends. And then I had a really drunk but fun phone call with a bunch of other friends. So there. My life is fucking awesome.
And it’s all a bit fucked.
There’s covid fucking everywhere. Josh has it. Summer has it. even educated fleas don’t exist because a school for fleas would be cute but not practical. Covid is everywhere. And… I’m not worried, really, I’m just sick of it. I feel that two years should’ve been enough. I’m ok with saying 2020 and 2021 didn’t exist because I live in Victoria and we had more days in lockdown than we had out of lockdown [citation needed] and I’m ok with that. We did what we had to do. We fucking hated doing it, but we knew it was the right thing to do [most of us knew that]. So know it’s been 2 years, why is everything still so fucked.
Because Scott, and Greg, and Dom, Clive Fucking Palmer, and Craig, and Barnaby. Seriously Barnaby can fuck right off. Also other people are shitheads. I’ve forgotten my point. But fuck those guys.
Don’t actually fuck them. They’ll enjoy it but you’ll vomit and feel used and there isn’t enough soap in this world to make you feel clean again.
Point iz, everything is still so fucked.
And I’m here, skunk as a drunk and I know you’re expecting me to say something deep and profound. Be excellent to each other. Hang in there be nice to each other sorta shit. Vote for progressive parties that don’t want to fuck the climat in the butt. The usual sorta thing.
Well, do that then. I guess. I dunno. My approach to The Current Situation seems to be very similar to when I had my ‘funks’ during lockdowns 2, another one I can’t remember, and 6. Ie I end up very apathetic and not giving a shit about a lot of things. It’ll pass, probably. But for now… fuck it who cares.\
That’s not to say I’m not doing the right things. I’m wearing masks, I’m avoiding gatherings in small indoor spaces, I’ve ordered a butt-tonne of RATs that won’t arrive for months, I’m drinking soup-bowls of horse dewormer and bleach. I’m triple-vaxxed. If I could get a fourth dose I would. I’m doing the important things.
But the extra million micro-decisions are exhausting. Calling chemists to see if they have RATs in stock. Deciding whether or not to meet with friends, and how to do it safely. Remembring a mask, and keeping a spare handy. Calculating the risk of a supermarket shop. Evaluating the risk to reward ratio of opening Twitter or the ABC News app. All the extra little decisions and things to remember. Checking in with friends who are isolating, or struggling with mental health. It’s like every second of existence is a chore.
Two years should have been enough. Everything is still fucked, everything is still exhausting.
And I’m a lucky motherfucker.
I’m not working in testing stations, in full PPE on 35 degree days. I’m not in a hospital trying to get staff to work in covid wards, in full PPE. I’m not a restaurant owner trying to meet high demand with most of my staff in isolation. I’m not trying to keep supermarket shelves stocked when trucks aren’t turning up because the drivers are sick. I’m not a teacher trying to prepare for school returning when many kids are completely unvaccinated. I don’t have covid.
I’m a lucky motherfucker. Two years should have been enough. Everything is still fucked. Everything is still exhausting.
I will be fine. I will crawl out of my funk soon enough. I will holiday with Eva over the Australia/Invasion Day week. I will drink wine and eat cheese and eat chocolate. Boobs will continue to boobilate wonderfully.
I will be fine. I just fucking hope you will be, too. Because you’re a pretty awesome human, and you deserve to be fine*.
Now fuck off and get on with your lives.
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* Goodwill sentiments do not apply to: Scott, Greg, Dom, Clive Fucking Palmer, Craig, Barnaby, Pauline, Donald, That Tennis Player, Boris, the billionaires who went to space, TERFs, and Kanye West. Don’t fuck them.